Over the last few months I have noticed that there are lot of videos on YouTube now that are talking about how nice guys can change their behavior to get a girl. The channel I referenced in the last post was Essential Truth, which has cut up a lot of the Jordan Peterson lectures into segments on mostly men and women, which are loosely connected to dating. This post will include a video from Mantelligence.
I wish I had more videos like this when I was younger. I remember being 18,19, and 20 years old and having no clue on how to even initiate the attempt of getting laid or getting girlfriend.
To begin, I will preface this by saying the motivations for posts like these are only to help and to share previous experiences I had. I found that when I was a late teen and early 20 something there was no place to turn. Friends were useless when it came to advice because they did not understand dating and hooking up themselves. Looking to the internet was also useless because as soon as I asked a question on anything I was shot down and ridiculed by trolls for not knowing the answer in the first place. The chaotic years of the early New Millennium.
That gives us the reason on why I wanted to write a variety of posts on this subject. Let's first look at what not to do...Then, next let's look at what to do.
What Not to Do When Dating (for straight men anyway :p) :
1. Do Not Ask Women for Advice:
It is true. Women have a good sense of how other women think, yet they have no idea on how men think. They always try to reduce men down to one-dimensional entities. They say cheap remarks like guys only care about one thing, but most of their hook ups have probably resulted from them being horny and getting on Tinder. Men pursue women, and women aren't paying attention while men pursue them. Every suggestion I have ever had from a woman on dating has been useless. It's just small lines like "Be nice, but don't be too nice." and if you ask "Well, how exactly should I do that?" They will just stop the conversation because once again they don't understand what they are doing. They just do it. It's just Math professor being forced to explain simple addition and subtraction.
2. Do Not Ask Men for Advice:
Overwhelmingly, I found that men always say the same thing. "Be confident." That is the only real thing guys say as a form of advice. The problem is that is not a strategy that you can apply. It is not a thesis that can put into action. It is not something that can be tested.
In short, your friends are not going to be much help unless they give you clear and direct strategies, which is very rare, and asking for help on the internet via forums and chat groups is not always welcome.
So what do you do?
What to Do When Trying to get Laid or Find a Girlfriend:
1. Decide what you want.
I once asked someone if they could introduce me to a girl. The guy said he had many single friends, so why not? Then, he asked me "Well, what do you want?" I said I did not care. Anything is fine....that was the wrong answer. If I did not care, my plan had no ambition.
More importantly, you cannot invest your heart and soul into a single person. It is what you want, NOT who you want. No matter how hard you try, you cannot always convince a certain individual to be with you.
Make a clear objective.....Do you want a relationship? Long term or short term? Do you want a something leading to marriage? Do you want a friend with benefits? Do you want to just get laid with multiple partners on a regular basis? Do you want travel sex?
Choose one thing and make that your objective. It is not who you want. It is what you want. You can control what you want.
2. Frequency.
Want to know the name of a good dating site? ............Well, I won't say one. It doesn't matter which site you use because you need multiple dating platforms. Use at least 4-5 dating sites simultaneously to find what you want. No matter how good a dating site is and no matter how much your friend recommends it, you will have better odds of getting what you want if you are using 5 different dating platforms instead of one. This is the 21st Century. Let's network.
3. Tell yourself. You are not nice.
If you are reading this post, firstly thank you for your interest in this blog. Secondly, you probably are not nice. The video talks about nice guy mistakes, but people often confuse nice with agreeableness. I have to thank Dr. Jordan Peterson for pointing that out. If you are on the internet looking for strategies for getting laid, you probably are not that nice. You care about sex. Sometimes you use women. Sometimes you neglect her feelings and put yourself first....Hey, nobody is perfect. I am not.
Be less agreeable. This is easy on dating sites and text messages as there is no real life pressure. Do not let someone tell you what to do. Do not let someone boss you around if you do not like it. Do things your way. If someone says something that you do not like, say something. Agreeableness will most likely be viewed as weakness by a woman.
4. Network at Community Events (For Americans)
I am American, and almost the only ways I can meet regular partners is from community events. When I am in Asia it is all about the dating sites and the internet. In America it is about community events. I do not know what else to call them...but...not at work, not at school. When women are at work or going to class, they almost seem to be in a state of unease. For starters, there are other students or co-workers there that could judge her if they found out that you were having sex with her. This is greatly reduced at any social activity that is not related to work or a class.
I met one ex-girlfriend at a community club. One at a party. Two from a community theatre, the same one. and so on....Things like organizations, parties, volunteer work, social engagement, community activities. I find people are very relaxed when it is not work or school.
5. Get Ready for Trouble
If you are going to be using five different dating sites, and you are going to be approaching women at various events in your communities, get ready for negative comments, backlash, trolls, people trying to bring you down, other people trying to steal your thunder, and just straight up jerks who will be jealous if they see you talking to women.
They are wrong. Always know that. If your intention is only to meet a woman and have a good time with her (as well as her having a good time with you) other people are wrong to interrupt you. You are in the right. I confess I am not sure the best way to deal with trolls in face to face situations. On any online platform, I suggest blocking them immediately.
Be strong. Do not let anyone trying to hurt you get you down.
Good Luck and Go for the Gold.
Thank you for reading my list of 5 internet stratgies on getting laid.
If you have any feedback or comments, please drop one in the box below.
I am always interested in expanding these types of discussions and maybe we can all share
stories that have helped us in the past.
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